Hey friends, sick of chocolate and cookies and pies and cakes? I know my body is. My health hasn’t so much put up a white flag of surrender as it has rolled itself up into fetal position and whimpered “dear god please stop. please. just stop. i can’t.”
So I bought some green to go with my 3-meals-a-day-cookie-diet. I was going to make my tried and true raw kale salad, but there were so many PARTS to it. I was trying to clean and wrap presents and go on ridiculous errands, and I didn’t have time to make any casual homemade breadcrumbs or mortar and pestle any garlic cloves. So I was like , can I just fuckin…..eat this? The answer, of course, is yes…with the help of salt and olive oil. Basically the kale just becomes a conduit for salt and oil. They could be pieces of paper towel for all anyone cares.
I suppose that’s not fair. I do enjoy the taste of kale. I don’t cream my jeans about it, but it’s got some nuttiness and greenness and whatever. So I ate the whole bunch of it in the form of kale chips. All of it. All the kale. If you want, buy me a few drinks and I will tell you what happened to my poop the next day. You can actually just buy me a few drinks to NOT tell you poop stories. Which is my standard Saturday night bargaining and how I get free drinks from dudes.
from the Horny Toad email newsletter (yeah………I subscribe. their fleece is booommmmbbb)
1 bunch of organic kale
Preheat your oven to 325°. The secret to kale is that it responds really well to human touch, so use your hands to de-stem and tear it into chip-sized pieces. Put the kale in a glass baking dish. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with sea salt. Use your hands again to massage the kale until it’s completely coated with the salt and oil. Think happy thoughts or hum a happy tune while you do this, and the chips will be even more delicious and special tasting. Bake them for about 15 minutes, more or less, depending on how crispy you like ‘em.