There are a few things I do when I’m buzzed. Well, there are a lot of things I do, but there are a few things I do specifically when I am buzzed and alone: I buy things online, and I seek out any food ever.
My current smartphone ownership is 100% the result of a bottle of wine. I guess my drunk-buying problem spills over into real life, because I also once drunk-walked from my apt to dinner a few miles away, drunk-wandering into a little boutique on the way. I immediately regretted walking in, because I was the only person in the store, and I didn’t like anything there, but the woman who owned the boutique had those eager eyes, and I am every salesperson’s dream. Seriously, I have bought ACLU membership from one of those door to door people. Soberly. Anyway, I was touching all the necklaces to look like I was interested in them, and I made a whole group of them fall off their hook. So obviously I walked out with a brand new necklace that I have not worn once since. Similarly, my roommate once drunk-bought a scented candle.
Tonight’s a-coupla-beers resulted in my purchase of Hulu plus, because there is apparently not enough free tv on the internet to satisfy me. I just needed to watch back episodes of Samantha Who, obviously!! I maintain that Christina Applegate has amazing comic timing!!!!!
It also resulted in this:
This was going to be a recipe for some fancy-ish popcorn. I don’t know, I had some spices and shit. But then this happened and I got all brow-furrowed and huffy and walked 3 blocks to the bank of america atm, took out $60, and bought an ice cream sandwich instead.
I suppose I regret most of my drunk purchases, but I gotta tell you, this was one of the best neapolitan ice cream sandwiches I’ve ever eaten, and if I wasn’t already in my bathrobe in bed watching tv and writing this now-mostly-sober missive, I would go buy another.