Fermental

Purple carrots, you will win my purchase every time. Look at you! Your shit is all wacky colored. Anyone who really knows me understands that I’m one of those people enthralled by colors. How do they exist?!?! Every time I go into the nail salon (which, recently, has been quite a lot, actually), I choose the most obnoxious color they have. Last time it was hot neon traffic cone orange. My friends always roll their eyes and try to explain to the nice ladies that I’m new to this, but I can’t help it. I want all the colors, all the time, one per nail.

I gain especial delight when things are colored differently than I expect. Black cherries? In my mouth. Blood orange? Chomped. Yellow heirloom tomatoes? YES! Other stuff that I can’t think of right now? Fuckin yeah. Let’s do it. Oh like white eggplant? Red lettuce? All these things! I don’t know. Wackiness excites my brain.

So I did what I thought I should do with such magical carrots–pickled! Just a standard vinegary recipe sure to punch up these little purple gems. I also threw some harissa in there because I like spice and I wanted to impress you. I’m so cultural! I know what harissa is!!!! Colors and spice!

Hm. Had a lot of coffee this morning. Also I am distressed because my MOM tried to set me up with someone. My mother! Of “you’re so young, don’t think about marriage, just be young and do whatever you want, you have plenty of time!” THAT mother. Sigh. I lamented with my sister about it and she said, “yeah, well, she probably reads your blog.”

So, apparently total hippie laid back mothers of mine are now reading this blog and determining that I Need a Man because I’m old and a tad wacky (and I curse too much). I contend that me and my pickled carrots and fermented soul are doing quite ok on our own, getting drunk on the weekends playing competitive Bananagrams and then dancing to soul music at the Elbo Room and then vomiting the next morning because, though we are now exactly one week from turning 28, we still can’t handle our Tecate. Not that that’s a goal we ever aspired to. Is it? But purple pickled carrots!!!!!!!!

Spicy Pickled Carrots

1 bunch baby carrots
1.5 cups warm water
1/4 cup rice vinegar
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp harissa

Mix all the stuff and pour it over the carrots. Put in the fridge for many days.

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Author: katboda

Hey, cram it.

3 thoughts on “Fermental”

  1. I want. Also, I wish to publicly declare that I will accept no blame in the Elbo Room/vomit incident.

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