Having my cake and putting my hands in it a 3am, too.

SO, I didn’t get any shots of the cake before it was demolished. That’s because I was too busy 1) getting chocolate frosting all over my boob in an incredibly unsexy way 2) playing drinking games and having dance parties 3) otherwise not acting my age in any way, shape, or form 4) there was a keg 5) seriously i’m 27. Have I mentioned that some people I know have BABIES? They created life, and I got drunk and ate cake with my hands at 3:30am.

Weeeeh. Can I just say the cake was beautiful? I mean, there’s no proof, but it was. Can I also say I made a lot of new friends because of it? I did. I knocked it out of the motherfucking PARK with this one. There’s no real reason for me to be so amped on myself today, but I don’t know. The Giants are in the World Series so there’s this excited buzz all over town, and everyone’s like high-fiving each other and thumbs-upping all over the place, and I’ve recently had a pretty awesome life win in my column (which makes the score like: life-65 million, kat-8). But whatever!! No bad vibes today, readers! No complaining about miserable coworkers, or the fact that I ate an entire day’s worth of calories exclusively in Moose Munch® form, or that I’m 85% sure I have shin splints, or any of that other meaningless bullshit! Let’s just fucking enjoy ourselves, because like 50 million years ago no one existed and cake hadn’t even been THOUGHT of yet and in another 50 million years I bet the same thing will be the case.

I mean, I want to be good. But not right now.

Vanilla Buttermilk Cake with Bittersweet Chocolate Buttercream and Dark Chocolate Ganache
adapted from Sky High (the cake), and Martha (the frosting), and I just fucking MADE UP the ganache, on account of just knowing how to do that shit, because I’ve done it before

Vanilla Buttermilk Cake

4 whole eggs
2 egg yolks
2 tsps vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups buttermilk
3 cups cake flour
2 cups sugar
4 1/2 tsps baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
8 oz (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Butter the bottoms and sides of three 8-inch round cake pans or spray to coat with vegetable oil. Line the bottom of each pan with a round of parchment or waxed paper and grease the paper.
2. Put the eggs and yolks in a medium mixing bowl, add the vanilla and 1/4 cup of the buttermilk. Whisk to blend well.
3.. Combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large mixer bowl; whisk to blend. Add the butter and the remaining 1 cup buttermilk to these dry ingredients and with the mixer on low, blend together. Raise the mixer speed to medium and beat until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes.
4. Add the egg mixture in 3 additions, scraping down the sides of the bowl and mixing only until thoroughly incorporated. Divide the batter among the 3 prepared pans.
5. Bake the cake layers for 28-32 minutes, or until a cake tester or wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean and the cake begins to pull away from the sides of the pan. Let the layers cool in the pans for 10 minutes; then carefully turn out onto wire racks, peel off the paper liners, and let cool completely.

Dark Chocolate Ganache

1 cup heavy cream
2 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp butter
8 oz dark chocolate, chopped
1 tbsp espresso powder

Place the chopped chocolate and espresso powder in a bowl. Heat the cream, butter, and sugar in a saucepan. Stir to dissolve the sugar and bring to a boil. Pour over  the chocolate and espresso. Let sit 10 minutes, then stir until smooth.

Bittersweet chocolate buttercream

8 oz semisweet chocolate, chopped
2 oz unsweetened chocolate, chopped
2 tsp cocoa powder
1 lb butter, room temp (this is 4 sticks. YEAH.)
5 egg whites
1 cup sugar

Melt the chocolate and cocoa in a double boiler (or a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of boiling water). Stir together the egg whites and sugar in the bowl of a mixer. Heat over a saucepan of simmering water until 140 degrees F. Remove from heat & whisk on medium until stiff peaks form. Turn speed down slightly & whip until cool to the touch (this will take a while–7ish minutes). Change to paddle and add butter tbsp by tbsp. Mix to emulsify. Fold in melted chocolate.

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Author: katboda

Hey, cram it.

2 thoughts on “Having my cake and putting my hands in it a 3am, too.”

  1. Hi, Kat, happy b-day, belated. Have I told you lately how much I lurve yer blog? AND this cake sounds absolutely deadly. Gotta get me some. Pity no photo of cake (or boob) for posterity. Maybe next time. –Max

  2. trina,
    nothing makes me happier than my bi-weekly reading of your blog. you’re a crazy person, but one of my favorite crazy people ever. i do, however, semi-hate you for not busting out these skills when we had $100 a week to blow. i mean, i love some taco bell…but a banana chocolate chip muffin wouldn’t have hurt once or twice.

    anyhow. pls alert me when you enter the world of pizza making. i did. it was life-altering.

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