Have I made all the chocolate chip cookies that exist yet?

Well, I haven’t. But it feels like it. Here are yet more. More!! They’re all subtly different, sure. If I possessed any of what the kids call “discerning taste,” then I’d be able to tell you the differences. These are good! They’re…good! Eat em. You won’t even regret it? Well I guess maybe you will in the morning when you feel sick to your stomach because, dear god, what have you done. GOD, chocolate chip cookies, stop providing so many perfect metaphors for my sex life!

Other things: I am now one of those people who needs to crack joints for them to work properly. Namely whatever joint is keeping my foot attached to my leg. The ankle-joint?

Also do you know what one of my biggest fears is? You know when you use a public bathroom and you walk into the stall and it smells like an old person has just used it? One of my biggest fears is the day I leave a bathroom stall and some kid walks in and goes, ugh, old person smell.

I’m getting word from our producers that no one is here to hear about old person smell, the dudes I regrettably boned, and my ankle joints. FAIR ENOUGH. The cookies though, they’re grood.

Chocolate Chip Cookies
from Baking From My Home to Yours

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp salt
3/4 tsp baking soda
2 sticks (8 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup sugar
2/3 cup (packed) light brown sugar
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
2 large eggs
12 ouncs bittersweet chocolate, chopped into chips, or 2 cups store-bought chocolate chips or chunks
1 cup finely chopped walnuts or pecans

Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchmentor silicone mats.
Whisk together the flour, salt, and baking soda.
Working with a stand mixer, preferably fitted with the paddle attachment, or with a hand mixer in a large bowl, beat the butter at medium speed for about 1 minute, until smooth. Add the sugars and beat for another 2 minutes or so, until well-blended. Beat in the vanilla. Add the eggs one at a time, beating for 1 minute after each egg goes in. Reduce the mixer speed to low and add the dry ingredients in 3 portions, mixing only until each addition is incorporated. On low speed, or by hand with a ruber spatula, mix in the chocolate and nuts. (The dough can be covered andd refrigerated for up to 3 days, or frozen. If you’d like, rounded tablespoonfuls of dough, ready for baking. Freeze the mounds on a lined baking sheet, then bag them when they’re solid. There’s no need to defrost the ough before baking-just add another minute or two to the baking time.)

Spoon the dough by slightly rounded tablespoonfuls onto the baking sheets, leaving about 2 inches between spoonfuls.

Bake the cookies- one sheet at a time and rotating the sheet at the midway point- for 10-12 minutes, or until they are brown at the edges and golden in the center; they may still be a little soft in the middle, and that’s just fine. Pull the sheet from the oven and allow the cookies to rest for 1 minute, then carefully, using a wide metal spatula, transfer them to racks to cool to room temperature.

Repeat with the remainder of the dough, cooling the baking sheets between batches.

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Author: katboda

Hey, cram it.

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