All of everything good

These muffins are most of everything good. They’re easy, they’re delicious, they’re texturally wonderful, they’re interesting, they’re not UNhealthy, and they probably write nice emails to their friends. Banana, espresso, dark chocolate! It’s the fucking menage-a-trois of the century. Everyone comes out of that one feeling satisfied and included and should we…can we do this again some time?

I woke up at 6:30 and had these cooled and ready to eat by the time I waltzed out to door to go sit in front of a computer all dead-eyed for 8 hours. So simple! My roommate sent me a text message from her bed mid-process saying “am I going crazy or is someone baking something??” Since I was baking them for HER, she was taking the GMAT that afternoon and I wanted to make her a nutritious snack, I played it cool. But one by one they all emerged from their rooms and were like WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO US?? It’s a common theme in this apartment. But this time I maintain it was in the good way. These muffins are not evilly unhealthy. You don’t have to abstain from eating ever again in order to enjoy a few.

So you should make them. Because they’re in my top 3 favorite muffins of all time, and I don’t even like chocolate that much. I mean no one could knock off blueberry, that bitch has the 1-spot secured for life. But man, these guys came pretty close. So like….go make them? Really really! For fuckin realios my sisters (and brothers, possibly, i don’t know, i don’t even know who reads this filth spout).

Do you see why I would never make it as a salesperson? Well, that, and I can’t fake cheery voice for SHIT. Oh my god, I am so bad at it. Sometimes I try and like halfway through I get to a point where I forget what I’m saying (this happened to me today) because I’m concentrating so hard on my tone. I’m not even kidding, this is what it sounded like today:

Me: …and so the…..uhhh………………I’m sorry, I was just………..looking at something…………..important there for a second. I’m sorry, what? Did you say?

Person on phone: I didn’t say anything.

Me: Right, it was me talking. Iiieee……I’m so sorry. I was……..talking about how I think this program would…..benefit……your. Um. Fundraising efforts? I’m sorry, can I call you right back?

Deep breaths, brainiac. Deep breaths.

Banana Espresso Chocolate Chip Muffins
from Baked: New Frontiers in Baking

1-1/2 cups mashed, very ripe bananas (about 4)
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted
1/4 cup whole milk
1 large egg
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon instant espresso powder
1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup (6 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Spray a 12-cup muffin pan with nonstick cooking spray. In a medium bowl, stir together the bananas, sugars, butter, milk, and egg. In another medium bowl, whisk together the flour, instant espresso powder, baking soda and salt. Make a well in the middle of the dry ingredients. Pour the wet ingredients into the well and stir just until combined. Fold in the chocolate chips.

Fill each cup about 3/4 full. Bake in the center of the oven for 20-25 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center of the muffin comes out clean. Move the muffin pan to a cooling rack, and let cool  for 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, remove the muffins from the pan and let them finish cooling on the cooling rack. Muffins can be stored in an airtight container for up to 2 days.

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Author: katboda

Hey, cram it.

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