It tastes like purple

Here’s the part where I’m all SHIT I MESSED THIS RECIPE UP PRETTY BADLY. And you’re all clutching your breast OH MY GOD I AM ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED. SHOCKED.

So let’s skip that part and get to the part where you read the post and get inspired to make some scones. Because, honestly, do you think you have had enough homemade scones in your life yet? Have you reached that quota? My guess is probably not.

And my other guess is that there have been some really cold and/or rainy winter mornings recently that have been BEGGING for scones. Mornings on their KNEES, hands clasped, PLEADING WITH YOU. MAKE THE SCONES, meng. For the love of everything warm and flaky, make the fucking scones.

And my final guess is that you’ve been shoving down instant oatmeal or coffee and a pastry or a cold cold yogurt, not knowing that there was another way. And do you know what they call not knowing? Ignorance. You don’t want to be ignorant, do you, child?

Well then make the g d scones. (but don’t mash the berries, WHICH THEY SPECIFICALLY TELL YOU IN THE RECIPE, it’s just that some people NEVER LISTEN)

Buttermilk Scones
from Tartine (1/2 recipe)

6 tablespoons zante currants (1.75 ounces) or 3 ounces fresh berries
2¼ + 2 tablespoons (12 ounces) all-purpose flour
1½ teaspoon baking powder
¼ + 1/8 teaspoon baking soda
¼ (1.75 ounces) granulated sugar
½ teaspoon + 1/8 teaspoon salt
9 tablespoons butter, very cold
¾ cup buttermilk
½ teaspoon lemon zest
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
large crystal sugar or granulated sugar for sprinkling

1. Preheat the oven to 400ºC. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat.

2. To make the dough, first combine the currants with warm water to cover in a small bowl and set aside for about 10 minutes until the currants are plumped. Drain well. If you’re using berries instead of currants, put them in the freezer.

3. While the currants are plumping (or the berries are freezing), whisk the flour, baking powder, and baking soda in a large mixing bowl if making by hand, or into the large bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Add the sugar and salt and stir to mix with a rubber spatula. Cut the butter into ½-inch cubes and scatter the cubes over the dry ingredients. If you are using a mixer, pulse on and off so that you don’t break down the butter too much. You want to end up with a coarse mixture with pea-sized lumps of butter visible.

4. Add the buttermilk all at once along with the lemon zest and currants. (If you’re using berries, don’t add them yet.) Mix gently with a rubber spatula by hand or on low speed if using the mixer. Add the berries and continue to mix just until you have a dough that holds together. Be careful not to mash the berries into the dough, or you will color it with their juice. If the mixture seems dry, add a little more buttermilk. You still want to see some of the butter pieces at this point, which will add to the flakiness of the scones once they are baked.

5. Dust your work surface with flour, and turn the dough out onto it. Using your hands, pat the dough into a rectangle about 9 inches long, 5 inches wide, and 1½ inches thick. Brush the top with the melted butter and sprinkle with the sugar. Using a chef’s knife, cut the dough into 8 triangles. Transfer the triangles to the prepared baking sheet.

6. Bake the scones until the tops are lightly browned, 25 to 30 minutes. Remove from the oven and serve immediately.

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Author: katboda

Hey, cram it.

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