Frankenstein Cookies

Internet, do you know what I like about these cookies? Do you know what I like about baked goods in general? They’re better than they look on paper. You read all the ingredients and yes, it’s a nice list of things, but it doesn’t prepare you for what all those things add up to, which is warm and chewy and doesn’t have emotional issues.

So many things are better on paper than they are in real life. May I paraphrase a friend here? Sure, he’s tall and dark and handsome and he probably loves his mother. He went to a good school and he makes a lot of money and he likes to cook and maybe he volunteers for a nonprofit on the weekends. He owns some decent camping equipment and he drives a sporty car (but not too sporty) and he has a favorite sandwich. There are a few chick singers on his iTunes and his favorite Beatle is George and when he lets his facial hair come in he looks ruggedly handsome. Guess how many of these ingredients ensures he is not a total douchenozzle?

Zero. Which is why it’s so nice that baked goods live up to the hype. Chocolate? Fantastic. Peanut Butter? Splendid. Sugar? Sweet. Walnuts? Great. Butter? Wonderful. And guess what? When you put them all together, they’re EVEN BETTER. The equation great+great+great+great+great = even greater makes sense to me. The day that someone can explain great+great+great+great+great = emotional child, I will stop wondering about the special math that goes on when creating an adult male.

This cookie combines all the good parts of several different cookies to create a wonderful monster of a cookie. Part peanut butter, part oatmeal, part chocolate chip, all delicious. It’s the most delicious frankenstein cookie I’ve ever had.

And when it gets angry, it doesn’t punch walls. PRAISE BE!

Monster Cookies
from Baked: New Frontiers in Baking

Makes 36 cookies

1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking soda
Pinch of salt
5 3/4 cups rolled oats
3/4 cup cold unsalted butter, cut into cubes
1 1/2 cups firmly packed light brown sugar
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
5 large eggs
1/4 teaspoon light corn syrup
1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 cups creamy peanut butter
1 cup (6 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup (6 ounces) M&Ms  (i obviously left these out but you probably shouldn’t)

1. In a large bowl, whisk the flour, baking soda, and salt together. Add the oats and stir until the ingredients are evenly combined.
2. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter until smooth and pale in color. Add the sugars and mix on low speed until just incorporated. Do not overmix.
3. Scrape down the bowl and add the eggs, one at a time, beating until smooth (about 20 seconds) and scraping down the bowl after each addition. Add the corn syrup and vanilla and beat until just incorporated.
4. Scrape down the bowl and add the peanut butter. Mix on low speed until just combined. Add the oat mixture in three additions, mixing on low speed until just incorporated.
5. Use a spatula or wooden spoon to fold in the chocolate chips and M&Ms. Cover the bowl tightly and refrigerate for 5 hours.
6. Preheat the oven to 375°F (190°C). Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
7. Use an ice cream scoop with a release mechanism to scoop out the dough in 2- tablespoon-size balls onto the prepared baking sheets, 2 inches apart. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes, rotating the pans halfway through the baking time, until the cookies just begin to brown. Let cool on the pans for 8 to 10 minutes before transferring the cookies to a wire rack to cool completely.
8. Cookies can be stored in an airtight container for up to 3 days.


Author: katboda

Hey, cram it.

One thought on “Frankenstein Cookies”

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