Oh reader please please read that title like “some cookies” with a lisp. Please do. There, now don’t you feel better?
Can I be honest? I’m going to be honest, since 80% of this blog’s purpose is my own catharsis (heyyyy ego!). I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m in a funk, friends. I’m like, kinda pissed off a lot. For those of you who know me in Real Life, that is not usually how I am. I’m generally really fucking laid back. To a fault. What I’m saying is things don’t really rock my boat. It’s really wide and stable. I think it’s a catamaran.
But listen, lately my boat has been making me nauseated with all the rocking. It’s all unstable and it’s pissing me off, and the result is I’ve become somewhat of a pill. The idea of which pisses me off even more, resulting in this terribly pissy negative feedback loop that spirals out in a really ominous way.
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW. Because the other night I went out (which, when I’m all pissy, is rarely a good idea) and some guy who Didn’t Know had the BALLS to come up to me and feed me some lame compliment, how DARE he, and I accidentally maybe might’ve told him to go fuck himself, because now I’m a raging bitch who can’t take a compliment without doubting the complimenter’s motives and making him feel bad about ever daring to walk over to me in the first place, but also I’m pretty sure he was just casting out his end-of-the-night-and-I-ain’t-got-nobody net in hopes to pull in whatever was left on the dancefloor, and I’m sorry, but did you not know that I AM SITTING IN AN UNSTABLE BOAT?? This is who I am at this stage in my life, and god help any and all innocent and genuine people that wander into my path over the next few months. Because I used to be one of those innocent and genuine people and then MY BOAT RAN AGROUND AND I’M PISSED ABOUT IT SO DON’T EVEN BOTHER.
That said, this recipe was a big fucking disappointment. It took me forever to shell the goddamn hazelnuts and then grinding them resulted in more of a powder than nice little baby pieces and they took a long time to roll and press and fuss with, and then the flavor was like NOT THERE. And GUESS WHAT, it’s a Martha recipe, so already I’m all, COME ON. I don’t know who she’s got over there in her test kitchen but I’d like to have a word or two with recipe tester #2 or whoever.
But they’re really kind of ok, you know? It’s just that I’m just a raging bitch who isn’t satisfied with anything or anyone and is waiting for something or someone to PROVE TO ME that they are WORTH. MY. TIME. And for goodness sake, leave my poor boat ALONE.
Hazelnut Jam Thumbprints
from Martha’s Cookies
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
1/2 cup plus 2 tbsps sugar
1 large egg, each part lightly beaten
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1/8 tsp salt
1/2 cup toasted skinned hazelnuts, ground
strawberry, raspberry, or apricot jam, for filling
Put butter and 1/2 cup sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment; mix on medium speed until pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add egg yolk and vanilla, and mix well. Reduce speed to low. Add flour and salt and mix until just combined. Refrigerate dough for 2 hours.
Preheat oven to 325. Stir together hazelnuts and remaining 2 tbsps sugar in a small bowl. Roll dough into 1-inch balls, dip balls in beaten egg white, then in hazelnut mixture. Space 1 inch apart on baking sheets lined with parchment paper. Press down center of each ball with your thumb. Bake for 10 minutes. Remove from oven; press down centers again with the lightly floured end of a wooden spoon. Return to oven. Bake cookies until golden brown, 8-10 minutes more. Let cool slightly on sheets on wire racks. Fill each center with jam. Cookies can be stored in a single layer in airtight containers at room temperature for 2 days.