Under Pressure (that burns a building down, splits a family in two, puts people on streets…um ba ba beh, um ba ba beh, ee deh da)

What, do you not like Queen? Come on. Freddy Mercury? The man could SING. Oh friends, I believe I just thought of the perfect transition here. Under Pressure –> Queen –> Fat-bottomed girls –> Black bottomed cupcakes. Oh Trina. (you can’t call me that, by the way) How Do you Do it?

black bottomed cupcakes 1

The real reason for the blog post title is because I was under PRESSURE whilst making these cupcakes. Because this is one of those situations where I was making someone’s FAVORITE recipe. A recipe someone else has mastered and loves dearly. One of those recipes that defines a person’s baking repertoire. And that is a Lot Of Pressure. Pushin down on me. Pushin down on you. Etc etc.

black bottom cupcakes 2

Plus this particular recipe comes from an invaluable kat in the kitch helper. Last week I baked another 80ish cookies for a small conference, and I owe most of my sanity to my kitch helper. The kind of helper that brought me a burrito and a glass of wine at exactly the right time. Who washed about a million dishes and watched as I reused them all and they needed to be washed again. And then, again. So kitchen helper gets a LOT of credit. I owe him. Big time. So I didn’t exactly want to mangle his favorite recipe. AND THAT IS A LOT OF PRESSURE.

black bottom cupcakes 3

Here is how the recipe was transcribed to me over the phone. First, I was given the ingredients. Then there was my favorite part, the instructions, which were as follows: Mix the filling. Then taste it. Then taste it again. Because it’s effing (editor’s note: trying to lay off the f-bombs) good.

black bottom cupcakes 4

These are the kinds of instructions that a girl like me can really get behind. And you know how I like to follow directions. Exactly. To the letter.

black bottom cupcakes 5

And then I got some warnings. Like, oil the shit out of the muffin pan, because otherwise these will stick. And of course I wasn’t allowed to use cupcake liners. That would be “cheating.” Cheating! Well. I’m no cheater. What I am, apparently, is a terrible muffin pan oiler. Because as you can see 2 photos above, I MANGLED. THE. CRAP. out of the first batch of these. MAN. GLED. Extreme fail. To the max. I mostly blame the fact that I was working with mini muffin pans that needed to be reused for batch 2, so batch 1 couldn’t really cool completely before being pried ever so gracefully out of their little homes. Batch #2 was slightly more put together, but still not cleanly extracted.

black bottom cupcakes 6

But the beauty of these cupcakes is that, no matter how destroyed they look, they still taste so very very good. In fact, I got more compliments on these at work than any other baked good I’ve brought in. To sum up, Queen-style: Black bottom cupcakes, they make the bakin’ world go round. (guitar solo)

Black Bottom Cupcakes
from my invaluable kitchen helper’s mother

1 egg
1 80z package cream cheese
1/3 cup sugar
1/8 tsp salt
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup water
1/2 cup veggie oil
1 tsp vinegar (i used white)
1 tsp vanilla

Preheat oven to 350. Oil the SHIT out of some muffin tins, or cheat and use liners. (editor’s addition)

Mix together the ingredients for the filling. Put your finger in there a few times. Taste that. It’s good, right?

Sift together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt. Whisk in the sugar. Add the veggie oil, vinegar, water, and vanilla and stir until smooth.

Fill the cups 1/3 of the way up-ish with the chocolate batter. Plop a heaping spoonful of the filling on top. Bake for 20-25 minutes. Let cool and then remove from pans, preferably in one piece unless you are extremely incapable, in which case these will look like shit.


Author: katboda

Hey, cram it.

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