Brownies for my Brownie

I undercooked these brownies. I undercooked them a lot. Well, not according to the recipe. According to the recipe, I cooked them 5 minutes longer than necessary. But no. They were unacceptably gooey. I love a gooey brownie, I do, but these were practically melted chocolate. They were unholdable. They would not DO.

katherine brownies 1

A simple knife test would’ve told me I undercooked the brownies. But since I cooked it 5 minutes more than it said, I didn’t perform one. You know why? Because I TRUST. I trust recipes to be honest with me.

katherine brownies 2

I trust recipes to not be total cowards. I trust recipes to be upfront with me and not feed me lines of bullshit all the time until I’m ready to punch someone in the balls.

I am a trusting person, and I trust. I trust and I trust and I trust and it continually gets THROWN IN MY FACE.

katherine brownies 3

So this is my official message to the world. I am DONE. I am DONE trusting. Trusting is for stupid douchey suckers. Trusting just leaves you with gooey ass brownies and frustration.

katherine brownies 4

We’re not talking about recipes anymore, are we? No. We’re not. Because I’m in a terrible mood. A TERRIBLE ONE. And since this is my blog, you have to listen to it. Because I’ve already ranted all day and it didn’t help, and I thought chocolate would help and then chocolate let me down because it’s just FOLLOWING SUIT. Because everyone in this stupid world is a stupid douchebag, and no one can help themselves. Everyone is a brownie recipe pretending to be all worked out and on top of their shit, and everyone is just a gooey fucking brownie with NO BACKBONE.

katherine brownies 5

BUT ANYWAY. These brownies are for my friend Meg. It’s her birthday today. If Meg and I were baked goods, she’d be a brownie and I’d be a blondie. And because of that, she understands that I needed an excuse to make chocolate today. I NEEDED IT. You feel me, Meg. I know you do. Happy Birthday bud. You rock.

Tribute-To-Katherine-Hepburn Brownies
from Baking From My Home to Yours by Dorie Greenspan

•    1/4 cup all-purpose flour
•    1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon (optional)
•    1/4 teaspoon salt
•    1 stick (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter, cut into 8 pieces
•    1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
•    2 teaspoons finely ground instant coffee
•    2 large eggs, preferably at room temperature
•    1 cup sugar
•    1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
•    1 cup broken or chopped walnuts or pecans
•    4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
1.    Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 325 degrees F.
2.    Butter an 8-inch square baking pan and line the bottom with parchment or wax paper. Butter the paper, dust the inside of the pan with flour and tap out the excess. Place the pan on a baking sheet.
3.    Whisk the flour, cinnamon, if you’re using it, and salt together.
4.    Put the butter in a medium heavy-bottomed saucepan and place the pan over low heat. When the butter starts to melt, sift the cocoa over it and add the instant coffee. Continue to cook, stirring, until the butter is melted and the cocoa and coffee are blended into it. Remove from the heat and cool for about 3 minutes.
5.    Using a whisk or a rubber spatula, beat the eggs into the saucepan one at a time. Next, stir in the sugar and vanilla (don’t beat anything too vigorously — you don’t want to add air to the batter), followed by the dry ingredients, nuts and chopped chocolate. Scrape the batter into the pan.
6.    Bake for 30 minutes, at which point the brownies will still be gooey but the top will have a dry papery crust. Transfer the pan to a rack and let the brownies cool for at least 30 minutes. (You can wait longer, if you’d like.) Turn the brownies out onto a rack, peel away the paper and invert onto a cutting board. Cool completely before cutting into 16 squares, each roughly 2 inches on a side.
SERVING: These are happy being served in all the typical ways — with whipped cream, ice cream or Hot Fudge Sauce or paired with a glass of milk to allow for dunking. I think they are best at room temperature, when they are at their moistest, but they are also very good chilled.
STORING: Wrapped well, the brownies will keep for 3 days at room temperature or frozen for up to 2 months.


Author: katboda

Hey, cram it.

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