Being efficient

First of all, I have been promising you butter. I have been dangling butter over your head, and I’m afraid to tell you that I am not delivering once more. But you know what? I wasn’t even planning on posting today, so if you pretend this didn’t happen, then I am still on schedule to show you butter tomorrow. Let’s do that, ok?

So anyway, by now you have made a bazillion shot glass and thimble cookies (you are fast!) and you are sitting around with 4 separated egg whites in a little container (do not even tell me you threw them out. sacrilege!!). And you are a modern person…you recycle when it’s not painful, you try to take short showers (except when you come back from a winter run and you’re oh so cold and the shower takes a solid 20 minutes to thaw you out), you buy recycled toilet paper. Etc etc. So it’s only natural that you’re looking for a way to make some use of the extra whites in your life. Friend, look no further. That is why I am here! Go on and put those egg whites in your KitchenAid bowl, or if you are a masochist like me, choose one of those manual egg beater type dealies (really though, don’t do this. do the first one, or use one of those hand-held electric ones). Then go grab some powdered sugar…put some in the egg whites. How much? What do I look like, a scientist? Try a half a cup or quite possibly a full cup. I was so maddened by the whipping that I can’t really remember. But you like to experiment, don’t you? Whip those egg whites until they’re glossy and they hold stiff peaks.

that's right...nice and shiny
that's right...nice and shiny

Then do a little taste. Not sweet enough? Add some more sugar. Too sweet? Well, you’re f’ed.

she told me to add more but i didn't
perfectionist grandmother not included

Once it is sweetened to your liking, you’re ready to form your, as my grandmother calls them, “little doojickles.” I am unsure of the official spelling of doojickles, but that’s I hope you know what I’m saying. In Czech they are called “sněhový pusinky,” which means “snowy kisses.” I think that is a darling name for these little guys. You can just plop them on a baking sheet with a small spoon, OR, if you are fancy-schmancy like I am (clearly), you can grab a pastry nozzle and stick it in a plastic bag and pipe them out. But heed this warning: you are all excited about your innovation and you are not really paying attention to the Big Picture. You don’t know it now, but you are well on your way to making turds. Oh sure, when you first pipe them out they’ll be adorable…pristine white and glistening like…well, like little snow kisses:

beware the powers of the oven
so innocent

And you’ll preheat the oven to 200ish (we moved the temp up to 250 after it was taking a while…bad move) and you’ll put them in and be all prepared to pat yourself on the back for a job well done. Well about 45 minutes later, or however long it took, you’ll take them out to discover:

what have i done?
what have i done?

You made a poop. A dead ringer for some of your dog’s nastier business, actually. But you know what? They’re damn good. They melt in your mouth and get very pleasantly chewy at the end. They are the most heavenly little turds you’ll ever eat. So go forth and crank some out!

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Author: katboda

Hey, cram it.

3 thoughts on “Being efficient”

  1. I once found the letters “red” in my toilet paper in black font. I thought it was amazing, but no one else did.

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