You know, That Holiday

Oh friends. This isn’t going to turn into Bitter Single Woman post, I promise. I mean, Valentine’s Day! It’s a day! To do something special for your special someone! If, like me, you don’t have a special someone, you get recruited to help people plan their special somethings for their special someones. I am happy to report I am indirectly responsible for like 5 people being extra happy on Valentine’s Day.

I am a Valentine’s Day fairy. I am just….so fucking good at this thoughtfulness shit. In this instance I provided my roommate with some annoying over-the-shoulder commentary while she made her boo some red velvet whoopie pies.

These are adorable, just like my roommate and her boyfriend are. Everyone is cute! All the couples! Just everyone love each other. All the time. Don’t do bad things to each other. Make each other pies. Give each other presents. Call each other when you’re thinking of each other. Write each other letters. Celebrate Valentine’s Day! These are the things you get to do as People In Love. Me? I get to make sexy kinda-drunk eyes at randoms in bars. So, let’s call it even, right?

Ha ha, just kidding! I mean, I sorta got my feelings back, turns out. It’s exhausting. Honestly I feel everything all the time now. I would love to exist somewhere between the extremes of ice-queen and melty-heart-all-over-the-place-does-someone-have-a-napkin but it seems that I am only capable of being ridiculous. The trick is finding a dude who thinks that’s a trait that belongs in the “plus” column. I’ll let you know how that goes (REALLY WELL SO FAR). In the meantime, pies!!!!! <3<3<3

Red Velvet Whoopie Pies SHAPED LIKE HEARTS
from The Way the Cookie Crumbles

Cake:
2 cups (9.5-10 ounces) unbleached flour*
2 tablespoons cocoa powder (not Dutch processed)
½ teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, softened
1 cup (7 ounces) packed light brown sugar
1 egg, preferably room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
½ cup buttermilk, preferably room temperature
1 ounce (2 tablespoons) red food coloring

Filling:
4 ounces cream cheese, softened
4 tablespoons (½ stick) butter, softened
2 cups (8 ounces) powdered sugar
½ teaspoon vanilla

1. Adjust oven rack to middle position; preheat oven to 375F. Line baking sheets with parchment paper. In medium bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt. Mix buttermilk and red food coloring.

2. In large mixing bowl, beat butter on medium-high speed for 30 seconds, until smooth. Add brown sugar and beat until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. With mixer at medium speed, add egg and beat until thoroughly combined, then beat in vanilla. Add about one-third of flour mixture followed by half of buttermilk mixture, mixing until incorporated after each addition (about 15 seconds). Repeat using half of remaining flour mixture and all of remaining buttermilk mixture. Scrape down sides of bowl and add remaining flour mixture; mix at medium-low speed until batter is thoroughly combined, about 15 seconds. Remove bowl from mixer and fold batter once or twice with rubber spatula to incorporate any remaining flour.

3. Spoon (or pipe) batter in 1-inch diameter rounds about ½-inch high on prepared baking sheets, allowing 1 inch between each round.

4. Bake 7 to 9 minutes, or until tops are set. Cool cookies on cookie sheets.

5. To make filling: Add cream cheese and butter to mixer bowl and beat until smooth. Gradually add powdered sugar, alternating with vanilla. Beat until smooth.

6. To fill, dollop (or pipe) cream cheese filling on flat sides of half the cookies. Top with remaining cookies, flat sides down.

To store: Refrigerate in airtight container up to 4 days. Let stand at room temperature 15 minutes before serving.

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