Oh hey……….zelnut and brown butter

OH MY SWEET FANCY MOSES I LOVE THIS CAKE. Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, I can speak about it like a normal person. Well. No. I can’t, but I can speak about it like I would normally speak about it, which is somewhere north or east of the normal of a [...]

These bite.

Well, no. They’re ok. But they’re not awesome, MARTHA. (we’re not going to talk about martha in this post anymore).  I was testing them out as possible cookies to bake for an upcoming conference. I thought the light espresso flavor and chocolate ganache filling would be a nice lil snack. WRONG.

These were fucking fussy. And [...]

Not arugula

Rugelach. Say it with me. Rooogehlahh. There’s no “a” in front, because that would be Arugula, which is pretty much the exact opposite of these jewish pastries. Arugula: green, wet, bitter. Rugelach: golden, flaky, sweet. It’s like how laughter and slaughter are one letter off. I think they do it to fuck with us.

So. Rugelach. [...]

Now I know what vegan butter is

So I was standing in front of the butter fridge in Rainbow Grocery, and clearly I’m having a hard time finding what I need because I’ve been standing there for like 5 minutes at this point. Some guy behind me goes, having trouble choosing, huh? And I’m all, yeah, and this is just BUTTER. And [...]

Martha Martha Martha

Let’s face it. If Martha Stewart and I were sisters, she’d obviously be Marsha and I’d obviously be Jan. I say this as my knee heals from a soccer injury and my left leg is in a boot from a running one. I say this after I’ve set things on fire, burned myself countless times, [...]

Can I interest you in some overcooked rhubarb bread?

Hey. I can’t form complicated sentences today. Or sentences at all. Here’s the rundown:
Rhubarb bread. Went to sister’s. Doubled recipe. Didn’t realize recipe already made 2 loaves. Cooked 4 loaves’ worth in 2 pans.

Bread was unevenly cooked. Surprise! Still pretty good. Great honey flavor. Addition of nuts questionable.

Useful recipe for those with rhubarb in their [...]

A cake in sheep’s clothing

Everyone knows about muffins, right? Everyone at this point understands that they are nothing more than cake in small, tapered, cylindrical shapes. Right? If you don’t know that, I’m sorry to break this to you, but muffins are cake. In some instances they are less healthy than cake. (Unless we’re talking about frosting, which we [...]

Thrice is nice

This is the third banana bread recipe I am posting to this site, and the second in about a two week time period. So I understand that Look you’re giving me. You’re all, what is the deeeeeal with you and banana bread? Especially after I made such a big fucking scene about the last one [...]

Raspberry Rhubarb revelations (can I get a high five for alliterations?) ((and a rhyme, double swish!))

My sister, crafty woman that she is, recently brought back a garden’s worth of bounty from our parents’ home on Long Island. Basically she flew across the country with little else in her suitcase besides: jars of honey (the new harvest, woot!) and raspberry jam, rhubarb, and…fresh raspberries! She gchatted me early in the week [...]

ZwetschgenkuchENNUI

Ready?           I don’t think you should run out and make this recipe.

There. I said it. And see? I’m CHOOSY. Quite frankly, you’re better than this recipe. Let me break it down for you. I had such high HOPES, readers. Maybe that’s the issue. I went to this fruit market mecca on the way back from [...]