Cold times, Hot wings

I have news for people who say they go to Hooters “because the wings are really good!” Wings are ALWAYS good. I’ve never had wings at some shitty chain restaurant and thought they were terrible, even at Crapplebees and TGIDisgustingday’s. Wings are just good, and sometimes they’re smothered in cheap barbeque sauce and sometimes they’re dipped in tabasco and sometimes Chesty LaRue serves them off her shelf of a bust, but they’re still all good.

BUT not like these wings. If they served these wings at Hooter’s, I would have nothing to say to every Danny Douchenozzle who claims them as the reason for going to Hooters. In fact, I would accompany them there. And I would overtip Chesty because I would be so happy about eating these wings.

The key ingredient is Trappey’s hot sauce. No other hot sauce will do, so if you can’t find Trappey’s, consider yourself wingless.

the one and the only

bathe, sweet babies, BATHE!

So go ahead and bookmark this page, and come back to it every time some large sports-type event is happening. Like the superbowl or the world championships in ice dancing. It doesn’t matter. You will be making excuses to make these. And you wouldn’t even care if a flat-chested girl served them to you. They are THAT good.

Kevin’s Hotwings
adapted from Kevin’s Sports Bar in Bennington, VT

10 lbs chicken wings
2 sticks butter
12oz bottle Trappey’s Hot Sauce (must be Trappey’s!)
4 envelopes Good Seasons Italian seasoning (the dry powder in the packets)
2-3 tbsp fresh basil, chopped
2-3 tbsp lemon juice
Tabasco sauce to taste (I end up using a ton…like 1/4 cup)

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Bake chicken wings in large baking pan for 45 minutes – 1.5 hours (check every 1/2 hour until they’re done). In a small saucepan, combine the rest of the ingredients and heat on low until all the butter melts. When the chicken wings are done, remove them from the oven and pour out all the liquid. Pour the sauce onto the wings and mix until they’re coated. Put back in the oven at 350 for 20 minutes until hot.

Nothing compears to you

Whew, that was close. I mean, I almost couldn’t find a horribly corny way to fit “pear” into the title of this post. But then I did. There is no limit to my punniness. There is also no limit to how much I love this cake.

stealing a quick nude pear kiss before imminent death

Chocolate and pear is not a combination I often think of, but they “peared” wonderfully. Ok done, promise. Please keep reading. Don’t let my corniness scare you off. You’ll be missing out on an absolutely lovely cake.

god i love specks

Look at those specks! Beautiful. The fun part about this cake is that you put the fruit and chocolate right on top, and then as the cake bakes it literally oozes up from underneath and sucks the fruit and chocolate into itself. Magic! Also this is the first cake for which I’ve beaten whole eggs…usually it’s just the whites. They turn all pale yellow and marshmallow-y.

bake that cake

In my humble opinion, pears are slightly overlooked as far as baking goes. The only complaint I’ve ever had of them is that, when ripe, they lose a lot of their tartness. I like a tart fruit and pears are just so mild sometimes.

voila

In that same breath, I think the next time I make this I’d love to experiment with other fruit. Pears, it’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I need some time to experiment to see if you’re best for me. I’m interested in apples, of course…but maybe bananas too. Or peaches! Oh god, summer, come to me.

melty oozy

So yeah, I know, another recipe from Smitten Kitchen. It’s like, why even have my own blog when you can get the original version with Deb? Well, I don’t have a good answer for that, except that I’m new here. And I credit SK for a lot of my interest in baking. So look, folks, I’m paying homage before I spread my little baby wings and bring you mind-bogglingly original recipes. And also, shut up and make this cake.

Al Di La’s Torta di Pere [Bittersweet Chocolate and Pear Cake]
Courtesy of Al Di La Restaurant in Park Slope, Brooklyn via SmittenKitchen.com

Deb’s notes in ( ), mine in [ ]

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 eggs, at room-temperature
4 ounces (1 stick) unsalted butter
3/4 cup sugar
3 pears, peeled, in a small dice [I used bosc]
3/4 cup bittersweet chocolate chunks [I used chips from Trader Joe's]

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Butter a 9-inch springform pan and dust with breadcrumbs [Deb used flour...I lined mine with parchment but that is because my springform is kinda rusty], set aside.

Sift the flour, baking powder and salt together, set aside.

Using a mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, whip the eggs on high speed until pale and very thick. (In a professional Kitchen Aid, it takes at least five minutes; on a home machine, it will take nine minutes to get sufficient volume)

While the eggs are whipping, brown the butter. Melt the butter in a medium saucepan (because it will foam a lot) and cook it until the butter browns and smells nutty (about 6 to 8 minutes). It helps to frequently scrape the solids off the bottom of the pan in the last couple minutes to ensure even browning. Remove from the flame but keep in a warm spot.

Add the sugar to the eggs and whip a few minutes more.

Just as the egg-sugar mixture is starting to loose volume, turn the mixture down to stir, and add the flour mixture and brown butter. Add one third of the flour mixture, then half of the butter, a third of the flour, the remaining butter, and the rest of flour. Whisk until just barely combined — no more than a minute from when the flour is first added — and then use a spatula to gently fold the batter until the ingredients are combined. It is very important not to over-whisk or fold the batter or it will lose volume.

Pour into prepared pan. Sprinkle the pear and chocolate chunks over the top, and bake until the cake is golden brown and springs back to the touch, about 40 to 50 minutes, or a tester comes out clean.

You’re sweet, but you know it

Readers, I am confused. I am having a crisis. You see, I’ve long been a member of the “sweet but not TOO sweet” fan club. You might even call me…the treasurer…of not-too-sweet sweets. I treasure them. Wah wah.

I often hold back on the sugar amounts in many of the recipes I make. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some sugar, but I just feel like many desserts overdo it. So when my mom handed me this recipe and told me I should make it for Valentine’s Day, I scanned it and decided it was exactly the kind of recipe I would not be particularly fond of. Almost everything that goes into these Chocolate Raspberry layer bars, with the exception of the walnuts and the butter, is sweetened. So, there is no sugar to cut out, because there is no straight sugar added. But oh…condensed milk, graham cracker crumbs, chocolate, white chocolate, sweetened coconut, raspberry jam, heath bars! It’s the sweet equivalent of that website that has a million pictures of tiny animals making cute faces.

all nestle(e)d in

chop chop

So I made them anyway, because we had all the ingredients and I was stumped trying to find a good Valentine’s Day pastry, and I know SOMEONE who would think these were heavenly. Also, I can see myself, one day faaarrr in the future, forgetting that it’s 10pm and tomorrow is little Jimmy’s bake sale and oh shit oh shit I was supposed to have baked something and god help me if I show up with nothing and get That Look from Susy Snotface’s mother who hand-baked old-fashioned pretzels and sprinkled them with pink sea salt and hm what do we have in our pantry besides cereal and pasta wait is that a bag of chocolate chips and some graham crackers alright maybe I can whip something up without having to wash any bowls and oh yes that chocolate raspberry layer bar recipe I made when I was 25 was quite a hit so let’s do this thing little Jimmy!

look, a fruit!

pre-heart piping disaster

Now, this recipe is as easy as it gets…but I did manage to screw it up (natch). After the graham cracker crust/condensed milk/coconut layers cooled somewhat in the pan I decided to cool it OUT of the pan on the wire rack. Well. I tried extricating the thing and I ended up with:

minor explosion

WOOPS. That’s what it looked like AFTER I tried to piece it all back together. As you can see, it didn’t exactly turn out as planned. Next time I would definitely without a doubt line the pan with parchment. It’s usually a good idea anyway, I just don’t when someone doesn’t explicitly tell me to, because I hate cutting the parchment to be the right size and all that nonsense. Laziness, thy name is ‘Trina.

Anyway. I ate like 8000 of them. They were too sweet, of course, but I ate them anyway. Because there is no way to combine all those delicious ingredients and end up with something I wouldn’t eat. And then I piped stupid hearts on top to add insult to injury. So, call me a hypocrite. I don’t care, I am making these again, little Jimmy’s bake sale or not.

Chocolate Raspberry Layer bars
from another random magazine clipping of my mother’s

1 2/3 cups graham cracker crumbs
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted
2 cups (12 oz package) semi-sweet chocolate morsels, divided
2 2/3 cups (7 oz package) flaked coconut
1 1/4 cups (14 oz can) sweetened condensed milk
1 cup seedless (I used seeded, no harm no foul) red raspberry jam
1/3 cup finely chopped walnuts (optional…but don’t leave them out because they cut a LITTLE bit of the sweetness)
1/2 cup white chocolate morsels
(I also added on top 2 chopped up heath bars…I recommend this [I know I know, more sweetness...I guess you might as well go whole hog if you're going hog at all, or something])

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Combine graham cracker crumbs and butter in a medium bowl. Press firmly onto bottom of ungreased 13×9-in baking pan (again, I’d parchment it). Sprinkle with 1 1/2 cups semi-sweet morsels, then coconut; pour sweetened condensed milk evenly over top.

Bake in oven for 20 to 25 minutes or until lightly browned; cool completely in pan on wire rack.

Spread jam over cooled top; sprinkle with walnuts (and heath bars). Place remaining semi-sweet morsels and white morsels in separate heavy-duty plastic bags. Microwave together on medium-high power for 45 seconds; knead bags to mix. Microwave at additional 10-second intervals, kneading until smooth. Cut a small hole in corner of each bag; squeeze to pipe over bars. Refrigerate for 5 minutes to set chocolate. Cut into bars. Makes 2 dozen.

Cream Biscuits (and Mushroom Gravy)

It occurs to me that I’ve been a bit sassy to you all lately. And demand-y. Apologies for that. Let’s settle down and have some biscuits and gravy. The only time I’ve ever had biscuits and mushroom gravy was at a little hippie breakfast place in (surprise) Eugene, OR. It was called the Morning Glory, and the biscuits and gravy were vegan (double surprise!) but somehow also delicious. They were so good that I was going to attempt to duplicate the recipe…until I realized I didn’t have vegan butter (which is what…oil?) or soymilk…so I scrapped the vegan idea and went straight for the cream. And real butter.

have i mentioned that i love biscuit cutters?

This was by far the easiest dough-related recipe I’ve ever made. By. Far. I used a cheese grater to grate the butter into the flour, so I didn’t really even need to cut it up a lot. The cream holds the dough together well, and you barely have to roll it at all…in fact, I rolled mine out way too much and my biscuits were baby midgets because of it.

much too short

While they baked up nice and golden, we made a quick mushroom gravy. Which, incidentally, is really not very pleasant to photograph. Aaand I only half-remember what happened during the process, but I think it went something like this: make a simple roux, throw some onion in it, add the mushrooms, and put boiling water over it. Then season. Sounded simple enough to me. I can approximate for you what I did, but I’m pretty sure there is a lot of room to be flexible based on what you like.

And let’s be honest here…the stars of this particular show are the biscuits. So soft and flaky and I love cream. I want to put it in everything. Like my mouth.

And honestly they took about 7 minutes to make and 17 to bake. You can’t go wrong. You can smother them in gravy and have a hearty brunch OR you can use them for strawberry shortcakes or other delicious things. If I knew how easy biscuits were to make, I’d have been making them constantly. Without pause. Forever. And ever. Amen.

Cream Biscuits
from The Art of Simple Food

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Stir together in a large bowl:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp salt
4 tsps sugar (optional) (I added 1…I don’t know why, just for shits and giggles I suppose)
2 tsps baking powder
Add:
6 tbsp (3/4 stick) cold butter, cut into small pieces (or not if you’re going to grate it in)
Cut the butter into the flour with your fingers or a pastry blender (or the large holes of a cheese grater!) until they are the size of small peas. Measure:
3/4 cup heavy cream
Remove 1 tbsp and set aside. Lightly stir in the remainder of the cream with a fork until the mixture just comes together. Without overworking it, lightly knead the dough a couple of times in the bowl, turn it out onto a lightly floured board, and roll out about 3/4 in thick. Reroll scraps if necessary.
Place the biscuits on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and lightly brush the tops with the reserved tbsp of cream. Bake for 17 miutes or until cooked through and golden.

Mushroom Gravy
from my mother’s brain

4 tbsp flour
4 tbsp butter
1 1/2 cups finely chopped mushrooms (we used regular ol’ white ones)
1/2 onion, chopped
2 cups hot to almost boiling water
vegetable boullion or other spices (the Morening Glory version was very dilly…that could also be nice)
salt and pepper to taste
2 tbsp cream

Melt the butter in a deep saucepan. Add the flour and mix into a paste. Cook, stirring often, until it’s brown. My mom says cook it about a shade darker than you want your gravy to be, for what it’s worth. Add the onion and stir. After a few minutes, add the mushrooms. Cook for about a minute and then pour in the water, stirring to combine. Season as desired (ours was about a tbsp of boullion and some salt and pepper). I like to cut it with some cream (obvi) but it’s entirely optional.

Survival of the Doughiest

Did you know today was Darwin’s birthday (well, and Lincoln’s, but maybe we’ll give him the spotlight next year)? Well, it is, so I’m going to have to make all sorts of corny references to finch beaks and the HMS Beagle and The Origin of Species and all that jazz. I’m just warning you, friend.

Continuing with our Finland week theme, today we’ve got Finnish cardamom sweet bread, called nisua or pulla. Above you see it in cinnamon-bun form. We also made a cinnamon swirl loaf. Basically this is the doughiest, fluffiest bread in existence. Don’t believe me? Come, let’s board the HMS Pulla and sail towards the Fluffapagos Islands (swish!).

so many organisms

like gak, but sweeter

This dough is LOADED with yeast. Yeast is to this dough like finches are to the Galapagos (count it!). It’s also very very soft. You can’t really tell it what to do…based on its surroundings it just takes any shape that makes sense. Sort of like….a finch’s beak under selective pressure. No?

punch that dough down

roll that dough out

It rises like crazy. Like the population of finches expands during the bountiful rainy season (tired of these yet?). Rolling it into a rectangle is slightly challenging. When I was trying to make a rectangle shape, I kept making perfect circles. So then I pretended I needed it to be a circle and lo–it turned into a rectangle. Reverse psychology is foolproof with dough.

wrap up that cinnamon sugar and butter

squish em out

You don’t necessarily NEED to roll your dough out. Once you’ve made the dough, you have a lot of options. Because of the sugar and cardamom, this is great by itself. The traditional Finnish bread is braided and glazed with egg wash and baked until golden brown. We decided to go the cinnamon-sugar route which requires the roll out, then a layer of butter and cinnamon-sugar. Then you roll it up and you can either bake it as a loaf or cut it into little buns (or both! since this recipe makes 2 loaves). We made both, and I can’t say I prefer one over the other. One could almost say they are almost the same species, with just slight variations that suit different circumstances.

make diagonal cuts

all done

For the cinnamon buns you just cut opposing diagonals, making triangular cuts of dough. Then sit the dough upright on its fattest part and use the back of a knife to just kinda squish the top, bringing the sides together to make a pyramid. LIKE A FINCH BEAK.

to the oven!

These are so great for breakfast, you’ll find yourself naturally selecting them as soon as you get up. You don’t even need to put butter on them because they are so soft and doughy.

like a pillow, but tastier

Have I exhausted all possible Charles Darwin references? It’s possible. To sum up: sweet, doughy, cinnamon-sugary. What are you waiting for? Evolution gave you opposable thumbs so you could grip knives and cut cinnamon buns. Don’t let Darwin down.

Finnish Cardamom Braids
from some ripped out magazine page my mom had

2 packages (1/4 oz each) active dry yeast
1/4 cup warm water (110 to 115 degrees F)
2 cups warm milk (110 to 115 degrees F)
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine, softened
1 1/2 tsps salt
3/4 tsp ground cardamom
2 eggs
7 to 8 cups all-purpose flour (I used 7)

In a mixing bowl, dissolve yeast in warm water. Add milk, sugar, butter, salt, cardamom, eggs, and  cups flour; beat until smooth. Stir in enough remaining flour to form a soft dough. Turn onto a floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 6-7 minutes. Place in a greased bowl, turning once to grease top. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 1 hour (we put ours in the oven with the light on). Punch dough down. Turn onto a lightly floured surface; divide in half.

For Braid: Divide each half into thirds. Shape each piece into a 13-inch rope. Place three ropes on a greased baking sheet. Braid ropes; pinch ends to seal and tuck under. Repeat with remaining dough.
For Cinnamon-swirl bread and buns: Roll out to a 12×18-inch rectangle (or really however big or small you want). Spread with about 1/2 stick of softened salted butter. Cover with a thick layer of cinnamon and sugar. Roll the dough up to form a log. For buns, cut pieces into triangular shapes. Stand on end on the thickest part and, using the back of a knife, press lightly on the top to form triangles.

For all: Cover and let rise until doubled, about 45 minutes. Bake at 350 degrees F for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown (more like 20 for the buns). Remove from pans to wire racks to cool.

Yield: 2 loaves

Finntastic Karelian Pies

I just finished my pies. Wait, let’s try that one again. I just Finnish-ed my pies. HI-OHHHH! Up top! No? Come on, dude.

Fine, let’s talk about the pies. First of all, I got a request for more Finnish recipes. I’d been heavy on the Czech side of the family recipes around Christmas, but let’s not forget about Finland here. After all, I am a citizen. So this is for my aunt Virva in Belgium.

This recipe was adapted from my mom’s grandmother’s old Karelian cookbook. Culture lesson time! Karelia (Karjala in Finnish) is a region of Finland bordering Russia. It changed hands many times and was bitterly fought over. They have a distinctive cuisine within Finnish food, and these pies are one of their more famous exports.

My great-grandmother was apparently a Karelian Pie making machine. The only ones I had before these were made by my grandmother, and I’m pretty sure she was no slouch either when it came to Karelian pie-making. I don’t know if such things are genetic or if they are learned, but if it’s the former I think it skipped me. If they are learned, I have a lot of Karelian pie making in my future before I can hope for the same status. But I am totally on board for that. These are really unique and they satisfy a very specific craving. The rye crust is thin and crunchy, the rice filling is creamy, and the egg butter (OH the egg butter!!!!) is salty and eggy and it all comes together into a very hearty tasting package. These would go great with a nice crunchy arugula salad and a cup of carrot parsnip soup or something equally delicious.

A little bit about the recipe. If you can, you should weigh your flour. If not, be sure to fluff up your flour before you scoop it out. When rolling the dough into circles, make sure you have a LOT of rye flour on hand. You will need it. ALL OF IT.

Smaller is better for the pies…easier to handle, easier to eat a million of. We made a mega-pie and then ended up cutting rest of the ovals in half and making smaller ones. They were cuter. Also, don’t forget to bathe the hot pies in milk and butter. This is a crucial step, and it might seem strange to you but you are not the boss here so do as the Finns tell you.

If I were you I’d make extra egg butter so I could put it on…I don’t know…everything? But I am a woman obsessed…with eggs, specifically. And butter, come to think of it. So maybe you won’t be as generous. For me, the egg butter is the best part of this recipe.

Now listen…I dug through old cookbooks in a language I can’t understand to bring you this traditional recipe, I’m giving you feedback about it, politely (or not) urging you to make it. And you’re sitting there all yeah yeah, what the F are these weird pies, I am not going to ever even think about making them. Let me play it straight for you: I will be pissed at you if you don’t make these pies. I mean, come on. Let me guess your baking repertoire. You make lasagna, right? Omelets are a specialty of yours, no? You can rock a fajita and probably a mean stir-fry, am I right? But can you make a Karelian pie?? What I’m trying to say, delicately, is you’re boring and you should branch out and embrace other cultures.

Alright, break. Report back with your Karelian pie making adventure, including details like “I burned my little fingers whilst bathing the pies in milky butter” or “you were right you always are these are amazing no punctuation necessarry.” Photographic evidence might also be required. Alright, good talk, see you out there.

Karelian Pies (karjalanpiirakat)
Adapted from old Karelian cookbook

For Pie Dough:
1/2 cup (50 g) all-purpose flour
1 cup (100 g) rye flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup water

For rice filling:
1 cup water
3 cups milk
1 cup arborio rice
salt & butter to taste

For glaze:
3/4 cup milk
3 tbsp butter

For egg butter:
6 eggs
4 tbsp salted butter
white pepper to taste

Make rice filling: Bring 1 cup water to a boil in a medium saucepan. Add arborio rice and stir. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 20 minutes. Add milk and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer another 30 minutes. When all the milk has been absorbed and the rice is creamy, add 2 tbsp(ish) salted butter. Taste and add more salt if necessary. Remove from heat and let stand.

Make pie dough: Preheat oven to 525 degrees F (or, as high as your oven goes). In a large bowl, mix together 1/2 cup water and 1/2 tsp salt and stir until salt is dissolved. Slowly add rye flour, stirring with a wooden spoon. Once rye flour has been incorporated, add all-purpose flour slowly until dough is workable but still slightly sticky (you might not need to add all the all-purpose flour).

Flour a working surface with rye flour. Roll the dough into a log, about a foot long. Slice the log into 16 equal discs. Roll each disc out (making sure to keep surface well floured) into a 6-inch circle (or oval). The circles should be very very thin, almost translucent. Stack them one on top of the other with rye flour sprinkled in between.

Working with one circle at a time, spread about 2-3 tbsp rice filling evenly onto the dough discs. The rice should be piled no more than 1 cm high and there should be a 2 cm border of dough around the filling. Working from the center of either side of the oval (or anywhere for a circle), fold the border over the rice border and pinch to secure. Continue to the end of the oval, then pinch the other side, folding the ends up and pressing them down to seal.

Melt a few tbsp of butter in about 3/4 cup of milk (in the microwave is fine). Place the pies on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Bake for 10-12 minutes, until the filling just starts to brown and the edges are brown and crisp. Using a pastry brush (or dipping the pies if your cup is wide enough), generously baste the hot pies immediately in the milk-butter mixture, making sure to soak all sides. Place the pies on a parchment-lined plate and cover with a kitchen towel.

Make the egg butter: Bring several cups of water to a boil and place 6 eggs in the boiling water. Let boil 10 minutes, then drain and cool the eggs under cold water. Peel and cut the eggs (as you would for egg salad). Add 4 tbsp very soft salted butter and mix until the egg mixture is almost pastey. Add more butter if necessary. Sprinkle with white pepper to taste.

[Can you] Taste the Rainbow[?]

Let me pose a question to you, readers: Are rainbow-colored foodstuffs that don’t subscribe a different flavor to each color inherently kind of evil? Is food coloring for the sake of food coloring wrong?

I myself am not sure where I stand on this issue. There was a time when I’d say it was completely unnecessary to color something just for rainbows’ sake. Fruit juices, for example, I feel strongly about. I don’t need red dye in my pomegranate juice to make it look more red. I don’t care what color it is. Same for things like m&ms and sprinkles (although I can’t deny saving specific m&m colors for last. what? I just don’t like to end on a brown one).

like snow, but less soul-crushingly cold

So here we are at rainbow cookies. I’ve loved them long time, ever since high school when I used to buy a few with my sandwich most days at the Firehouse Deli. So, when I came upon the opportunity to make them myself, I knew I had to. And here I was, presented with the choice of whether or not to add the unessential food coloring or not. And I didn’t even hesitate. I dropped those little chemicals in there like they were hot.

heybatterbatter (i know, seriously, i need to stop)

mmm pinky

So I guess what I’m saying is that I’m confused about what I believe in. These just seemed wrong to make without the bright pink and green layers. Otherwise it’s just brown and brown and more brown. Like those damn brown m&ms. No, I couldn’t have that.

oozing sweet jam

all squared away

Although I’m sure most of you are concerned about my views on a variety of issues, from the proper way to eat and apple to the evils of food coloring, I’ll get back to what should be the main focus of this post: delicious, delicious rainbow cookies. I don’t care for Italian desserts AT ALL (apologies to cannoli enthusiasts everywhere) but I can never get enough rainbow cookies. They’re not even cookies, they’re the most delicious moist almondy cakes sandwiched with apricot jam and bathed in semi-sweet chocolate. They’re heavenly.

topped but not bottomed

When making rainbow cookies, don’t do as I did. I have this small (large) patience issue. It especially shows with multi-stepped recipes. Bread, for example: when they say let it rise for 45 minutes, I let it rise for 40. When they say let it cool to room temp before cutting, I am sawing into it like 5 minutes after it has left the warm confines of the oven. For this particular recipe I let the cakes cool 6 hours (instead of 8), then let the chocolate cool 5 minutes (instead of 10) for the top and 10 minutes (instead of 30) for the bottom. I just couldn’t finish them fast enough.

makeshift double-boiler or "bowl on pan"

ready to march...into my mouth

Can you blame me?

The only thing I will say is that next time I will be sure to make double the the recipe. These were gone in a matter of hours. Kind of depressing when you spend like 8 hours on them. If only I had a cookie cloner or something. How about it, science?

Rainbow Cookies
from Gourmet, December 2005 via Smitten Kitchen (major thanks to Deb for making me realize I NEEDED to make these. Also check out her tips, I followed them and they were helpful as always)

Makes about 5 dozen cookies

Time: These take at least 11 hours from beginning to end, most of it inactive, but make sure you have a good 2 to 3 hour window to bake in

4 large eggs, separated
1 cup sugar
1 (8-oz) can almond paste
2 1/2 sticks (1 1/4 cups) unsalted butter, softened
1 teaspoon almond extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
25 drops red food coloring
25 drops green food coloring
1 (12-oz) jar apricot preserves, heated and strained
7 oz fine-quality bittersweet chocolate (not unsweetened), chopped

Special equipment: a small offset spatula, a heavy-duty stand mixer if you have one; a hand-mixer should work as well

Put oven rack in middle position and preheat oven to 350°F. Butter a 13- by 9-inch baking pan and line bottom with wax paper, leaving a 2-inch overhang on 2 ends, then butter paper.

Beat whites in mixer fitted with whisk attachment at medium-high speed until they just hold stiff peaks. Add 1/4 cup sugar a little at a time, beating at high speed until whites hold stiff, slightly glossy peaks. Transfer to another bowl.

Switch to paddle attachment, then beat together almond paste and remaining 3/4 cup sugar until well blended, about 3 minutes. Add butter and beat until pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add yolks and almond extract and beat until combined well, about 2 minutes. Reduce speed to low, then add flour and salt and mix until just combined.

Fold half of egg white mixture into almond mixture to lighten, then fold in remaining whites gently but thoroughly.

Divide batter among 3 bowls. Stir red food coloring into one and green food coloring into another, leaving the third batch plain. Set white batter aside. Chill green batter, covered. Pour red batter into prepared pan and spread evenly with offset spatula (layer will be about 1/4 inch thick).

Bake red layer 8 to 10 minutes, until just set. (It is important to undercook. They’ll look like they’re not done, but a tester does come out clean.)

Using paper overhang, transfer layer to a rack to cool, about 15 minutes. Clean pan, then line with parchment or wax paper and butter paper in same manner as above. Bake white layer in prepared pan until just set. As white layer bakes, bring green batter to room temperature. Transfer white layer to a rack. Prepare pan as above, then bake green layer in same manner as before. Transfer to a rack to cool.

When all layers are cool, invert green onto a parchment or wax-paper-lined large baking sheet. Discard paper from layer and spread with half of preserves. Invert white on top of green layer, discarding paper. Spread with remaining preserves. Invert red layer on top of white layer and discard wax or parchment paper.

Cover with plastic wrap and weight with a large baking pan. Chill at least 8 hours.

Remove weight and plastic wrap. Bring layers to room temperature. Melt chocolate in a double boiler or a metal bowl set over a saucepan of barely simmering water, stirring until smooth. Remove from heat. Keep chocolate over water. (Alternately, you can do what I did: melt the chocolate 3.5 ounces at a time just to make sure it doesn’t seize up between steps, though that shouldn’t be a problem if you only let it set for 15.)

Trim edges of assembled layers with a long serrated knife. Quickly spread half of chocolate in a thin layer on top of cake. Chill, uncovered, until chocolate is firm, about 15 minutes. Cover with another sheet of wax paper and place another baking sheet on top, then invert cake onto sheet and remove paper. Quickly spread with remaining chocolate. Chill until firm, about 30 minutes.

Cut lengthwise into 4 strips (I think I cute mine into like…7 strips). Cut strips crosswise into 3/4-inch-wide cookies.

Buds, Buttermilk, Brunch, Berries, Butter

The other morning I woke up very excited to eat Peanut Butter Puffins. In Eugene, where Trader Joe’s was our closest supermarket (shedding a tear for that memory), we ate Peanut Butter Puffins all the damn time. They are, in my opinion, the very best cereal option. So imagine my dismay when I awoke, scampered downstairs to the pantry, and–what’s this? They were gone! It was a good thing that my friend Marge had come over for brunch on Sunday and brought with her homemade granola, because that was the only thing that passed muster as an acceptable substitute.

Later in the day, as the snow began to accumulate here on Long Island, I noticed something outside. It was small….rectangular……blue!? It all clicked into place. You see, my family has 2 dogs of opposite temperaments. Sassafras is older, wiser, and sweeter…the most loyal dog on the planet and a goody two shoes to boot. Rhubarb is younger, more cunning, and half-wolf…out for herself and constantly getting into some sort of trouble, like escaping from our yard and killing our neighbors’ geese. She is no dummy, and she will take advantage of any and all opportunities to snatch something for herself. She has captured the family mouse (RIP Stephen), eaten more of my underwear (outside drying on the clothesline) than I care to remember, snapped the straps of my favorite bathing suit, stolen shoes, and even an entire six pack of beer (left on the deck to cool) and buried it in the yard. It shouldn’t have been any surprise to me that she decided she was also a big fan of Peanut Butter Puffins and made off with the box when someone wasn’t paying attention.

saved from certain annihilation

Luckily she couldn’t get into the plastic bag and my Puffins, though cold, were quite safe.

lookin all innocent

Speaking of breakfast (ah transition, you fickle mistress)–let’s get back to Sunday. My friend Meagan was up from D.C., and she and Marge joined my boyfriend and I for some pancakes and gossip about our old high school friends.

remember summer? it was nice.

I had some frozen berries in the freezer, so we decided on buttermilk pancakes with raspberries and blueberries. In case you didn’t know, raspberries are my #2 food of all time (behind pickles), which is a very high honor indeed. Despite what it might seem like, this being the third pancakes post I’ve done thus far, pancakes are not high on my list. These were very berryful though, and that is just fine by me.

meagan was a good helper

Meagan was excited to help with a blog post. I can’t really blame her. My blog is, for lack of better cultural reference, kind of a big deal. She was a gracious taste tester and I think the pancakes were a hit, if not a BIG hit. Part of the credit goes to mother nature, sure, but I think we can all agree that most of it goes to me and my expert pancake making abilities.

the tie-dye shirt food equivalent

(Here is the part where I admit that I’m actually not quite sure who reads this blog. I assume everyone knows me, and therefore recognizes the blatant self-mockery I infuse in my posts. Perhaps this is not the case and my fair readers actually think I am that boastful. Whichever you believe, you simply must admit….those are some good-lookin pancakes.)

where them berries? i hid em.

slightly disturbing

Besides the whole raspberries-looking-like-pockets-of-bloody-gore thing, there isn’t a thing I’d change about these purple beauties. I added a bit more buttermilk than milk, but still made it all equal 1 1/2 cups of liquid. All in all a great Sunday brunch option with good buddies and good food. And, obviously, this post is brought to you by the letter “B.”

Raspberry-Blueberry Buttermilk Pancakes
from Simply Recipes via Use Real Butter

2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 eggs
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 cup milk
3 tbsp butter, melted
1 cup raspberries
1 cup blueberries

Combine flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda in a bowl and mix well. Mix eggs, buttermilk, and milk in another bowl. Combine the wet and dry mixes until just lumpy. Pour in butter and stir well. Fold in raspberries and blueberries. Heat a little oil or butter in a frying pan over medium-high heat. Pour a scoop of batter onto the pan when the oil is hot. Spread to desired size. When bubbles appear on the top of the pancake, flip to cook the other side. Remove the pancake from the pan when the bottom is golden. Serve hot or let the pancakes cool and refrigerate them to be toasted later.

Spicy Cauliflower Soup

Another cold day, another soup from the Art of Simple Food. This time I went for the Spicy Cauliflower Soup. I’m a big cooked cauliflower fan, and I especially love it in soup, so I was pretty much guaranteed to like this recipe.

I used the amount of spices in the recipe at first, but ended up adding a bit more of each of them at the end. It was a tiny scooch on the bland side. The instructions just said “salt” so I figured that meant a few skrik skrik skriks from the salt grinder would do. Not so. I ended up putting a ton of salt in this, something I don’t normally do.

Once it was properly spiced, it was delicious. I like the kick from the chili powder and red pepper flakes. I used a hand-blender to puree it a little bit at the end–but I left enough chunks so that it wasn’t completely smooth.

With some yogurt (we only had greek yogurt in the fridge which worked fine) and cilantro on top it was nice and creamy and fresh tasting. Definitely a keeper, and I apologize that my write-up is not as wonderfully spicy as the recipe. Some days it is a real challenge to think of enough corny puns to make a whole post. And suddenly I want cornbread.

Spicy Cauliflower Soup
from The Art of Simple Food

makes 2 quarts; 4 to 6 servings

Heat, in a heavy-bottomed soup pot:
1/4 cup olive oil
Add and cook, stirring often over medium heat:
1 onion, peeled and diced
1 carrot, peeled and diced
1 tsp coriander seeds, crushed
1 tsp cumin seeds, crushed
1 tsp chile powder
1/4 tsp turmeric
1/4 tsp dried chile flakes
Salt
Fresh-ground black pepper
When very soft but not browned, add:
6 cilantro sprigs, coarsely chopped
1 large head of cauliflower, trimmed of green leaves and coarsely chopped
3 cups chicken broth
3 cups water
Raise the heat and bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. Reduce the heat to a simmer and cook until the cauliflower is very tender, about 30 minutes. Stir vigorously with a spoon or whisk to coarsely puree the soup (here I used the blender…just one or two zzz zzz zzzzzs). You may need to add more broth or water to thin the soup if it is too thick. Taste, adjust the seasoning if necessary (which I found it to be) and serve hot. Garnish each serving with:
Yogurt
Chopped cilantro or mint
A squeeze of lime juice (I omitted but I kinda wish I had a lime or two on hand to try it)

Uncharted Waters

READERS, delight in this news: this is the first post for which I have created an original (sorta) recipe! I know you’re excited for me, but in lieu of gifts and adulation, please send a personal check to….

Just kidding.

ta-da!

The inspiration for this creation came from Trader Joes’ White Bean and Basil Hummus. I purchased it a few weeks ago and it was devoured toot sweet. My mom had recently made beans and escarole, but she had saved some extra cooked white beans. I immediately sprang into action. I went out and got some tahini, some herbs, and concocted this beauty in my lab.

en route to being skinned

Have you guys ever used a garlic peeler? It’s a little rubber tubey thing and I think I’m in love with it. You just pop those babies in and roll it around in your hand and they come out naked. It’s genius.

shirt-wrecking tahini

What was not genius was my tahini performance. Of course when I opened the can I realized I had to stir in the inch or so of sesame oil on the top. I was not looking forward to it…stirring natural peanut butter always makes me angry. The stirrer inevitably gets oily as do my hands and I whine a lot. Tahini is about a thousand times worse. The paste is that much harder and the story ends with me trying to stab the tahini to break it up and oil all over my favorite shirt. Yes, my favorite. Balls.

zrooom

I used a hand blender because I hate real blenders and we don’t have a food processor. I’m glad I did because I really needed to maneuver to get all the tahini mixed in. The result was rather lovely. We ate it on fresh bread with some smoked salmon on top. It was f’ing wonderful alongside Spicy Cauliflower Soup (to come!).

dig in

White Bean and Basil Hummus
adapted from the Trader Joe’s label

1 cup cooked white beans
2 tbsp tahini
Juice from half a lemon
A few sprigs fresh basil, chopped
A few sprigs parsley and/or cilantro, chopped (I used both, I like herbs)
2 cloves garlic, chopped
Olive oil to taste (I think I used around 1/4 cup–depends on how liquidy you want it to be)

Salt & pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients except for oil in a blender, food processor, or bowl (for hand blender technique). Blend until creamy. Keep blending and slowly add the oil in a steady stream until incorporated. Season to taste with salt & pepper. Thank your lucky stars you read my blog. Done!